Faith and Prayer

This is a bit of a serious blog entry for me but it definitely reflects what I am grateful for today and every day.

As some of you know, I have made the decision to have surgery to remove my acoustic neuroma. I am scheduled for Tuesday, April 8, which means that at this time in 4 weeks you should all be receiving an email or text update that I am out of surgery and I will be partying in the ICU for the evening!

My journey with my acoustic neuroma probably started many years ago. I lost my balance and fell off my horse in 2008. I was super dizzy at Claire's wedding in 2009. I went home from work early because I was so dizzy one day in later in 2009 and had a workup with a ENT physician and a totally normal hearing test. The dizziness came and went and for a while I felt pretty good and attributed it to anxiety. I fell while out for a run and broke my arm in 2012. On my birthday in 2012 my co-workers decorated my desk with bandaids, caution tape, and a walker because that summer and fall I kept coming to work with cuts and bruises from falling off my bike (they still apologize for this but I say it was quite funny--we all thought I was clumsy, not that I had a brain tumor!).

But my journey really started a year ago on St Patrick's Day when I ended up in the ER after a half marathon with the migraine of my life. My symptoms of headaches and dizziness had gotten much worse about six months before and I knew that if any else happened I was going back to the doctor about these symptoms to see if anyone could figure out why I was feeling so lousy.

I had a normal CT scan and I went home from the ER with a diagnosis of dehydration.

I followed up with my primary care physician the next day. He had the genius idea to refer me to a neurologist. I had an eye exam and tried a couple of different things for my headaches before my neurologist ordered an MRI. We were both expecting it to be normal and a huge waste of resources. I got the call on June 7 at 6:30 pm after my MRI, a Valium to relax during the procedure, and a glass of wine at dinner, that I had what was suspected to be an acoustic neuroma and that I needed another MRI. I was quite relaxed at that point (Valium and wine will do that to you!) and I still did not get too concerned.

I had the repeat MRI on June 17. I happened to read over the MRI tech's shoulder that my first MRI showed a 3 cm growth in my head. That was probably the first time that it really hit me that whatever was going on was not good. I had follow up with my neurologist that Friday, at which point she told me that I had an acoustic neuroma or vestibular schwannoma (I actually sat in her office and asked her to spell it), called her neurosurgeon friend in town, and arranged for me to see him that same morning. On the way out of the office she said "good luck."

By the grace of God the neurosurgeon in Wilmington referred me to my future neurosurgeon and otolaryngologist (ear/throat dr) at Chapel Hill. After a pretty anxiety provoking summer I had surgery and a very healthy recovery.

I was really contemplating about all of my blessings and all that I am grateful for in regards to surgery during my run today. I am thankful that I can work out and essentially "train" for surgery. I am thankful that I am young and healthy. I am thankful that this was diagnosed while I was in North Carolina because my providers at UNC are an ace team. I am forever grateful for the support of my family and friends (especially y'all!!) and all of the prayers that are coming to me from around the country and the world.

Today on my run though I started to think about how grateful I am for my own faith. The events of the past year have really deepened my faith and my relationship with God. Although I have periods of feeling anxious, I am actually at peace with my decision to proceed with surgery. By relying on my faith I am able to hand over some of my anxieties to a great God who has provided for every blessing that I have had and that I do have and every blessing in life that I have to look forward to.

Please keep me in your thoughts, prayers, and meditations during this next month and during my recovery. Please pray for my overall safety during surgery, for preservation of my facial nerve (I want to be able to move my face when all of this is done!), for removal of most if not all of the tumor during this surgery. Please pray for my healthcare team, my family, and my friends (especially y'all!).

Me three days after surgery in August 2013 on the day I went home from the hospital. 

UNC Hospital's food service rocked! Note all of the Carolina blue in the picture.